Dear Helena:

My wife and I are wrestling with the decision as to whether we should allow
our 8-year old to have wine at his first communion. Our families have a
history of alcoholism and addiction-related tragedy. My wife is also a
recovering alcoholic. On one hand we are fearful that if we make it a
"forbidden" we may encourage him to seek it out on his own. But, on the
other hand, we can't reconcile our history and the law in an understandable
way for both our child and ourselves. Please give us your thoughts and refer
us to some material which can help. I feel that we don't have a healthy view
of alcohol. Is there such a thing?

Sincerely,

Carldbu@aol.com

Gosh this is a difficult one as both of your views are correct - namely if
you have a history of alcoholism in the family, your child is statistically
more likely to become susceptible themselves. However if you make alcohol
and exciting 'taboo' your child is more likely to experiment in an
unsupervised environment.

The decision has to be yours - usually I advocate introducing young people
to alcohol at just such events as weddings, communions and birthdays, so
that they learn that alcohol is an enjoyable, sociable meal time beverage
that should be treated with respect. I imagine your child will be having
just a tiny sip of wine and that wine is an integral part of our religion.
Do look at the links on our website (US and UK) under alcohol and children
and so let me know what you decide.

Best wishes,

Helena Conibear
Editor